Dear Centrists (A Letter From The Political Fringe)

Dear Centrist Friends and Family,

It’s election season and I know you are nervous. You have chosen a geriatric candidate with dubious voting history to run against a geriatric candidate who is a gross, narcissistic nepotist with dubious views. You fear for this election; I understand that. When Trump won his first term, you all went around posting this meme:

And all of us Fringe Creatures thought it was really cute that you did that after eight years of getting exactly what you wanted, because for us, every election result is just like that. We know there is no one to accurately represent us, so whether your side wins or their side wins, this is our exact reaction. We figure out a way to best survive. I will follow it with another meme:

When The Fringe tried to tell you that our support was not guaranteed in the 2016 election, you arrogantly mocked us, because you thought your candidate was a shoo-in. It was hubris and you were wrong. And now… NOW you have come back to us. And instead of offering a modicum of understanding, you’ve chosen the exact same candidate (except that he has a penis), and you are blaming your past mistake on us, The Fringe, and you threaten us with “blocking” and “defriending” on social media to convince us to just do as you tell us to.

Wow. From my perspective it’s just so clear how gross and lazy you are being, but I know from your perspective, I am the unreasonable one. Let me explain where we’re at right now:

We don’t like your opponent. At all. And we’re not going to vote for him. We don’t like Statism of any flavor. We don’t like nepotism. We don’t like anti-intellectualism, BUT every single time you say that ‘No educated woman would choose to have seven children,”

…You spit in my face.

And every time you mock rural life?

…You spit in my face again.

Literally the only thing you and I disagree on is what constitutes as “common resources” (and I’m more flexible on that point than others), and how those should be managed… Yet, you mock me. You prove time and time again that you despise my lifestyle and my ideas. You don’t respect me or my choices. At all. But you want my vote. You want it BAD. You want it so badly that you go on social media and block everyone who will not vote your way. Tell me: why should we? Why should we do what you tell us to when you have zero respect for us? You only want our vote. And we’ve already told you our vote is not going to your opponent, but you have given us ZERO reason to give it to you. Why would we endorse someone who loathes us? Tell me true.

We Fringe Creatures are adaptable; We have to be. We are survivalists, and not just in the “build a bunker”-way. We have learned for so long to adapt to the circumstances, that is just what we do now.

But if you want us on your side, start showing us some love. Some incentive other than coercion and threats. Otherwise we will just do what we always do; adjust, adapt, survive, and reassess later.